Passion may wax and wane in your relationship

Passion may wax and wane in your relationship

But as OKCupid founder Christian Rudder wrote, in that same time frame, “OKCupid users are certainly no more open-minded than they used to be. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit.”

Consider: In 2009, Asian men on OKCupid rated black women, on average, 16% less attractive than the average woman. In 2014, Asian men rated black women 20% less attractive.

You and your partner may not always see fireworks like you did in the early stages of your relationship. The key is not to freak out.

Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, told Business Insider that the decline of passion in a relationship is perfectly normal – and that you can lure it back.

One strategy is to schedule sex; another is to try a new and exciting activity together. Above all, try to be patient while you work on things.

It can be hard to make a relationship work if you and your partner have different values

Values are different from interests. If you like going to football games and your partner doesn’t, you can probably find a friend to go with you instead.

But if you’re interested in earning more money and status and your partner doesn’t care, that could be a problem.

Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, spoke with a series of older Americans for his book “30 Lessons for Loving” and heard a lot about the importance of shared values.

Pillemer’s interviewees recommended having an explicit discussion about core values with your partner before getting married, or deciding to be together long term.

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